Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Would it be worth it?

Just watched one of my favorite movies again. If you haven't seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind yet, I highly recommend this Charlie Kaufman film. In the movie, a fictional procedure to erase specific memories is offered to the public. It follows the crazy ordeal of Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) who is trying to forget his ex-girlfriend who has already done the procedure herself and forgotten Joel. Such a sad, bitter-sweet film. Watching it again made me wonder if such a thing could be done, would I willingly get some of my memory erased?

Perhaps I was happy in a relationship when I first saw this movie, therefore I did not consider wanting to forget someone so bad. This time around, it did spark a deeper emotional cord within myself, because I too sometimes wish I could forget people. But then again, I don't. I remember too many happy moments in my life that I shared with the one I used to belong to. The good times, the bliss, outweigh the heaviness in my heart from the sadness I endured. I would not want to forget my past loves. There is a place for them still in my heart.

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
"Eloisa to Abelard" by Alexander Pope

The only reason I could possibly consider myself getting the procedure is just to have another chance. Forget the past, the bad times, the worse of times, that I had with my past love. Forget it all so that I could have clean slate. Another chance without the baggage... wouldn't that possibly be worth it? I do not know... again, I doubt I would give up my memories. The ones I do have, with all the bad and the good thrown in, I keep close to my heart. It was a learning expereince on many levels. You have to know where you have come from to know where you want to go.

Here's to keeping strong, knowing yourself, accepting the past, both the ups and the downs, cherishing it all. Stay beautiful.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so happy I logged onto see you post this. Especially the last picture you used here, it's beautiful. I'm getting all sad (in a good way) again. :)